Modern Man

I just finished an article, about the high price of gas and how people are changing their lives. Apparently, 9 of 10 people surveyed are going to face financial hardship because of gas prices. All income levels. Families all across the country are canceling vacations and trips because they can’t afford to drive.

WTH?

Has anyone taken the time to figure out just how far your car can go on a tank of gas? Have you figured out how much more per week, month, year that you are really spending? Did you figure out how much more your vacation would be, before you canceled it? Are you buying into the media’s fear driven reporting?

This all complete crap. Let me tell you why.

Lets do some math, and use my car as an example.  My car gets an average of 20 MPG. I drive an average of 12,000 miles per year. My car has a 20 gallon tank. I get an average 400 miles per tank. That’s an average of 30 tanks of gas per year.

With me so far?

At $3.00 a gallon, that is $1800 per year. At $4.00 per gallon, it’s $2400 per year. A difference of $600 per year. $50 per month.

How often do you eat out? Go for drinks? Movies? $50 isn’t that much.

Lets talk vacations.  You canceled your vacation because of gas prices.

Lets say your vacation is 2500 miles, round trip.  Again, at 20 MPG, 400 miles per tank. That’s 6.25 tanks of gas. At $3.00 a gallon that was $375.  At $4.00 per gallon it’s $500. A whopping total of $125.00.

Seriously? You are canceling a vacation because you can’t  afford an extra $125.  I think if your budget was that close to begin with, you should not have been thining about vacation anyway. You were going to drop at least a grand maybe a few. What if you had an accident? Blew a tire? Got sick?

Things come up and most of them are going to cost a hundred or more.

Do your selves a huge favor. Stop watching news programs. They exaggerate, lie and mislead for the sole purpose of frightening you beyond rational thought. They need us to live in constant fear. It’s all propaganda. Try it. See how much better your life gets when you turn them off.

For you conspiracy theorists out there, tell me if you’ve heard this one.

On average, every driver in the country is paying $600 more, per year, for gas. Does that number sound familiar? It’s also the average amount that each American got from GWB’s economic stimulus package.

Who in the current White House has ties to the Oil industry?

Oh ya…ALL OF THEM!

There are much bigger things to worry about in this country, than $4.00 a gallon gas.

I went to the beach this week. For the first time in a couple of years. Trapped in Oregon. Long and different story. Anyway…at the beach, I noticed that I was the only male on the beach (no exaggeration) that wasn’t wearing shorts below the knee. Every male, child and adult alike, were wearing “shorts” that were below the knee. Except for me. I was wearing, of course, my speedo. That’s right kids, I proudly sport the speedo when I go to the beach or pool. I want a pair of the tight “boy shorts” but can’t find a pair I like. (think about the Bond movie, Casino Royal. Those were good boy shorts)

I digress…

What I’m saying, is that every male, young and old, fat or thin, short or tall, were all wearing shorts below their knees. Not some of them, not most of them, ALL of them.

The women were all different. Each had their own unique look. Women have all the options when it comes to fashion. Men get bupkiss! (that’s a separate post)

I have tried these “shorts” on. They are not even close to comfortable. Lets not even discuss what happens to ten pounds of material when it gets wet. You sink! (did you see how I said I wasn’t going to discuss it, but I threw that in anyway)

Mens “shorts” may be fashionably cool. Some people might even like them. Great. But what about those of us that don’t like them? What about those of us that want to be unique? What about those of us that want our legs showing when we wear shorts? What about swimming? What about my tan? Where is my choice?

As men, we are given basically no options for dress. We are told what to wear from a hand full of yahoos that think we all must be sheep.

Mens fashions haven’t changed for the last 100 years. Same clothes, same colors, same shoes…Gag!

As Modern Men, we should demand to be individuals. We should demand some choices. More colors, more styles, more free thinking!

Lets not buy into this notion that a single person in New York or Los Angeles should dictate what all men wear. Lets not all buy the same thing just because everyone else is doing it. Lets not be fashion sheep.

Don’t be afraid to be different. Embrace it.

Where’s your inner Speedo?

Todays Horoscope told me to share, “a little of myself, a little of my fantasy.”

There are so many…where do I begin?

A little about myself…

Let me start by saying, that, I don’t really care for most people. Nothing personal. Most of us were not meant to live in groups. We don’t play well with others. Myself included.

Of the few people that I consider friends, the two that we spend the most time with, are the polar opposite of us.

If the entire world were about, 100 things. We would only agree on 1 of those things. Maybe 2, maybe. ( I wont say, who’s who)

• Right wing Republican - Intentionally unaffiliated.
• NRA, gun lover - Anti weapon of most kinds
• Country - Rock alternative
• Global Warming - Political Propaganda
• Nascar - Formula 1
• Foie Gras - Pigs Feet

Now, I normally don’t give much time to people I have nothing in common with. In this case, work brought us all together. Their behavior is what makes us friends.

These two people, so vastly different from ourselves, are two of the nicest, I’ve ever met. They’re polite(to a point). They’re honest, trust worthy, and straight forward. They’re open, kind and giving.

Now, quite honestly, what more do we need to know about another person than those things?

We don’t see eye to eye. We are able to talk about our different view points in a rational, intelligent conversation. We can agree to disagree. We don’t need to make the other change their mind. We can joke and be serious. We can share good meals and swap stories of life and love. We can learn from one another.

At the end of the day we all want the same things. Family, Love, Peace, Security…

A little of my fantasy…

We can get along with, and be friends with, people that are different than we are. We can live our lives, as well as let everyone else live their lives. We can all live separately, together. What makes us think, that we need to make everyone else, see the world through our views?

My point is…if I can be friends with some one so vastly different than myself, we all can. So, that’s my fantasy. An old cliché…“Live, and let Live”.

How old were you, when you became a man? Almost all males will answer that with, 13 to 18 years old. Men are deluded.

Have we all heard of the “Manchild”? It’s the 20, 30 somethings. College degree. Cubicle job. Still living with room mates, or worse, with the parents.

Still living much the way males did while in high school. Responsible enough to pay most of your bills. Your main interest is still parties, bar hopping and hooking up.

For Modern Men, I believe becoming a man takes a bit longer. There is so much more to becoming a man than shaving and a day job.

A Modern Man needs to know how to treat people. This is a hard one to learn. We all think that we’re special. We want everyone around us, to treat us as if we’re special. The problem, is that we don’t treat others as if they are special too.

I’m special, treat me as such. It’s all about me.

Wouldn’t that be nice. Except things don’t really work that way. Other human beings are involved in our lives. It’s not all about me. It’s about them too.

Some of us get that early on. Others never get it. I admit that I was late to learn this lesson. I was thirty one. Married, good job, big plans. I thought I knew everything.

Then one day, things fell apart. Traveling the paved highway to hell, driving my new car, “Good Intentions” by Moron Motors.

My only concern was protecting myself. Saving face. I gave no thought to those that would be affected by my actions. People I would never have imagined, could have been affected. But they were. Some of them were treated very poorly and I was around for much of the emotional fall out. It wasn’t pretty.

It was about a year later that I realized what all I had done. All in the blink of an eye. One moment of selfishness, hurt people for years to come.

What I learned from all of this, is that we have to slow down enough to consider the big picture. Practically everything we do influences those around us. Things we say and do, impact people, neighborhoods, countries, the planet…

Most of us never think about things like that. I think a Modern Man has to be able to see these things and realize that his choices have power. Good and bad.

Think about how different the world would or could be if we thought about others first.

I was eight or nine years old the last time I remember kissing my father. It was time for bed. Every night my sister and I would give kisses to Mom, then Dad. One night I told my father that I was too old for kisses. He just grinned and said , alright. I have never forgotten that night.

Now that I’m a father, I think of that night, ever time I kiss my son. He’s four now. I wonder how long it will be before he tells me that he’s too old to give me kisses. Just the thought, breaks my heart. I wonder if I broke my fathers heart.

My mother’s side of the family is very physical. My fathers side was not. I still give my Mom and sister kisses when I see them. My father and I, shake hands.

A few years ago, at my grand mothers funeral, I hugged my father. He joked about why people pat your back when they hug. My hug had made him uncomfortable.

At this moment, I can’t imagine feeling uncomfortable, hugging or kissing my son. I guess I take after my mothers side of the family.

I am trying to teach my son that it is alright to show emotion. It’s alright to hug and kiss. Even your father. Not just as a child.

Physical contact makes some men feel weak or, like less of a man. I don’t think that’s the case with my father. He’s very close with his grand children, even the boys. I hope as the kids grow he doesn’t get more distant the way he did with me.

My father and I are still fairly close as fathers and sons go. I call him when my life gets really hard or when I need advice. I tell him when my life is good or just want to talk. But sometimes, I just want to give him a hug and kiss and tell him that I love him. I’ve wondered if he ever thinks the same thing.

I have no doubt that my father loves me, and I’m pretty sure he knows that I love him. Although we never say it.

As I raise my son, I try to tell him everyday that I love him. I never want to stop telling him. I never want him to wonder how I feel, I want it to be perfectly clear.

It doesn’t make me weak or less of a man, to tell another man that I love him. It doesn’t make me weak to give an other man a hug or a kiss. Especially, our fathers. Love is the greatest gift.

A Modern Man is strong enough to show and share love. Verbally and physically. It takes a stronger man to love, than to not.

Happy Fathers Day Dad, I love you.

Welcome to the “Modern Man”. It’s the 21st century boys. I think it’s about time we act like it.

You will not find me referencing “Metro-sexuals” here. The whole idea, I think is absolute crap-o-la.

Men don’t need labels to be men, we just have to act like it. Too many males today are living in the dark ages, thinking we need to be tough, loud, beer drinking, macho, you’re with me or against me, no going back, bone heads.

Too many of us(men) don’t know how to treat women, we don’t know how to be a good parent, we don’t know how to behave ourselves in public. We have few manners and even less common sense.

Sure, I’m generalizing. Not all men are barbarians, but the world doesn’t seem to notice that. Look at popular magazines. Men are made out to look like animals.

Womens magazines are all about good mothers. Career women. Raising their families single handedly. How to make men happy and not cheat on their wives, and on and on and on.

Most mens Magazines are full of giant fake boobs, articles about prolonging sex, how to have threesomes, fast cars, spoiled athletes, and written for a fifth grade education.

Is this the way most men really are? Is this what most men think they should be like? Is this what it means to be a”real man”?

Well I for one hope to God not.

To me, a real man is honest, thoughtful and polite. He knows how to treat people. He’s romantic and strong. He’s intelligent and worldly. He’s a good friend, partner and father. He knows his responsibilities and doesn’t shy away from them. He’s never afraid to ask for help or directions. He can admit when he’s wrong and learn from his mistakes. A real man is not violent or abusive. A real man is all of this and much much more.

He’s a “Modern Man”, that people can look up to, admire and respect.

I’m not a perfect person and I don’t claim to have all of the answers but I’m willing to learn and try. I’m willing to lay my heart and soul on the line and I’m willing to change.

Well, this is my journey to being a better person. A better partner, better friend, and a better father. I hope you will join me.